Week 2 v. Cannonballs/Rehabs

It was just before 9 pm on a frigid Thursday night when five of That's What She Said's players huddled together with anxious expressions. They faced a fate worse than any they'd ever known - DISQUALIFICATION (at least 6 players must be present to engage in competition). Fortunately, they narrowly escaped such wretched doom as Schiebler sauntered in just seconds before the first, game-starting cry of "dodgeball!" Callously, she seemed unaware as to the calamity of the situation and laughed off her tardiness.

With only 6 players donning Maroon shirts, allowing for no substitutes, I wondered if Captain Irvine had a particular strategic plan in effect. Revealing insight unique to a true professional Baller, he astutely observed: "The plan is to just stay in longer, to not get out."

Newly-minted teammate, Alexis Davis, apparently learned a thing or to from her stint on the Orange team (famed for the formidable, sleeveless competitor, "The Raptor") last spring, as she held her own on more than one occasion, surviving, solo, an alliterative barrage of black balls.

Even from the sidelines, Fagan's true team spirit and strategic acumen shined through a hacking, feverish fit of post-flu epidemia as she took viral dodgefare to new heights, getting JUST close enough to the midline to launch some stinging "wet ones" at the small, blue-shorted opponent.

Narrowly escaping the former softball player's hefty, mid-thigh pitch, Captain Irvine wins the "Dodge of the Evening" award. As the black pellet soared across the court, his gymnast-like instincts thrusted his knees into a buckle and curved his spine into a backward flip, sliding his upturned body to safety against the emergency-exit glass double doors.

I've been told that in another life (before she learned what real athletic activity is), Dube trained as a triathlete. Although doing little in the way of calorie-burning, this training did prepare her for some seriously supportive cheerleading. I didn't personally witness the following account, but close sources tell me her attempts to start the wave were apparently thwarted by an utter lack of audience enthusiasm (or perhaps attendance, the details escape me), yet even in the face of such adversity, her good humor remained throughout the evening.

Although Dube's pompoms and miniskirt could inspire any dodgeballer to just...throw...one...more... it was Woodman's sidelines coaching that really seemed to make a difference, "Catch one!" he yelled repeatedly, "Catch one!" Brilliant advice.

That's What She Said's 6 players continued the team's winning streak of last week, final score: 3-9 (W-L).

Editor's Note: We apologize for the lack of photographic evidence, apparently the players were actually playing and did not have time to submit action shots. Will dispatch a photographer next week.